Why don’t we heal and if we do happen to heal why does it take so long?
Have you ever had an event that lasted for 10 minutes or less and it caused emotional pain that lasted for years after the event occurred? Why do we suffer for years with emotional pain? What stops us from healing?
For 32 years I carried the pain of an event that lasted for less than 15 minutes and I got to a point where I just wanted the emotional pain to be gone. I spent a few years doing everything I could to heal the memory including going to many spiritual retreats. For some reason this particular memory would consistently bring up fear, unworthiness, grief and sadness every time I would think about it.
Yes, I have heard that I shouldn’t think about things that are painful but this particular memory would spring up from time to time and the emotional pain associated with the memory would affect parts of my day. Not too long ago I did heal from the memory but it left me with a question.
Why did it take so long for me to heal?
Healing may not occur because of our beliefs about healing.
I was afraid of healing because I thought it meant that it was “OK” that it happened. I was afraid that if I healed I would be living in lala land and my judgment of right and wrong would somehow vanish. Now, I realized that I can be at peace, joy, happy or loving and still know what is right and wrong. Even after the healing I still know how I like to be treated and how I like to treat others.
Another reason I believe it took so long for me to heal is because I was afraid that if I healed it would make the people involved better than me. Now I realize that happiness feels better than worrying if someone is better or worse than me. It’s not even an issue I want to think about now.
I also believed that if I healed then it meant that I would be letting people off the hook or that I would be letting them get away “it”. Again, my judgment of right and wrong doesn’t go away when I am happy, at peace, or feeling joy and neither does my ability to express how I like to be treated, how others should be treated or what I want done. The only difference now is that if someone is not doing something as I prefer then I can gently express my thoughts about it and feel happy, joyful or peaceful doing it. Being at peace and feeling joy and happiness doesn’t mysteriously put duck tape over my mouth.
I had this thought that it was not good to admit that I could be hurt. Admitting to myself I could be hurt meant that I was a weak person and so it was not an option. However, I noticed an experience of relief when I was able to admit to myself the truth. The truth was that I was hurting and I was part of the human race.
I also thought that happiness, joy and peace meant weakness because it meant that I wouldn’t be able to stick up for myself and others around me. I thought that peaceful, happy, and joyful people didn’t care what others did to them or what is happening around them. After the healing I realized this is quite the opposite. With these feelings I do have preferences of what happens in the world, I do care what happens to me, I do care what I do in the world, and I still want to express my opinion of what is right and wrong.
Now after the healing I noticed that I am even stronger. This strength that I experience does not take away my preferences and it doesn’t stop me from doing what I want to do. Before the healing I mainly communicated by yelling, manipulating, and forcing people to do what I wanted them to do. Now I feel happiness by expressing with a strong calm voice, persistence, courage, inspiration, lovingness, and by example.
What is your experience with healing? What has stopped you? Please share your ideas and experiences with us.
Please visit these website for more information on how to heal Byron Katie, Lester Levenson and Release Technique, Anthony Robbins and Regina Dawn Akers.
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